GREENBELT, MARYLAND – In an extraordinary turn of events, news is out that the world will not end in 2012. No, we have two more years — scientists are predicting the burning out of the sun in 2014. Apparently, for more than 40 years, scientists have been calculating the sun’s rate of energy consumption incorrectly. In this complicated chemical formula, helium & hydrogen are in some way calculated, and the result predicts the time the sun will burn out. The original number was 5 billion years…but scientists now say they have discovered a new factor in the formula. A new element, Zygon-B, has been discovered in the sun. It is a mutation of elements after helium and hydrogen were formed erroneously, and carbon was fused into the molecule. The resulting element was Zygon-B, and this element has been sucking up the sun’s hydrogen for, scientists predict, 2-4 years now. NASA discovered this element in March, and after a complicated process involving recalculation and calibration of its projection systems, scientist Mary Okafta finally emerged with a conclusion: the sun would burn out in 2014. And when the sun burns out, it will not be a pretty sight. The sun would explode from the inside — that is, implode, and the explosion within the sun would expand the sun until it entirely engulfs the Earth and surrounding planets, essentially destroying all life on Earth. The blast would not be survivable.
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