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Life-Form Signals Suggest Intelligence on Pluto

FRANCE – The French Centre National d’Études Spatiales (National Center of Space Research) reported to the Associated Press yesterday that their main big dish satellite, pictured on the left, received signals from deep space early in the morning of November 27, U.S. time. The signals, which were determined to be coming from Pluto, suggested radio activity on the planet and its surrounding airspace, which meant that ground communications as well as satellite communications may be prevalent on the once-planet. Centre National d’Études Spatiales spokeswoman Ethiers Voltaire told Reuters, “We are investigating these radio signals and have turned all our space satellites and ground dishes towards the source of the signals. Also, the French military has been put on medium alert, as we are preparing for attack from aliens determined to wreak havoc on France and the rest of the Earth. As of now, Prime Minister François Fillon is preparing a message to give to the Plutonians upon their arrival on Earth, and space shuttles are being fueled to provide evacuation routes for members of the French government and other important French citizens in the country.” We’ll keep you updated as the investigation into these mysterious signals unfolds.